I”LL NEVER GET OVER THAT GAME 7
I’m sitting here writing this review of Nobu Toronto’s new, $110, all-you-can-eat sunday “brunch”. It’s my pathetic attempt at a distraction after a series of events that not even the most cynical of Toronto sports fans (aka me) could fathom. I can’t even list them all, but I’m fairly sure I’ll never get over it.
Then again, does any of this really matter? We’re on a rock hurtling through space and the sun will burn out eventually, freezing to death whatever is left of humanity.
Anyways let’s talk about Nobu.
Inside
THE NOBU EMPIRE AND I HAVE A CORDIAL HISTORY
I love Matsuhisa, and the original Nobu is close to my family’s heart. But these days, it’s the Forbes of sushi. It’s luxury – in name only? – and exists as a licensing vehicle for restaurants, hotels, t-shirts and anything else brandable.
HOW THE BRUNCH WORKS
The “all you can eat brunch” – which is basically a buffet – launched just last month on Sundays between 11:30 and 2:30. Reservations are difficult, but not impossible. The cancellation policy is 24 hours, so check regularly. I got a table two days before.
It’s inside Nobu the second floor of the Nobu Hotel on Mercer Street, way downtown. There’s street parking everywhere, or valet if that’s easier and you’ve got cash to burn.
From my 10 seconds spent in the lobby, I would describe the hotel vibe as “Giedi Prime”. I don’t often take pictures of bathrooms, but I also don’t often expect to see a Harkonnen inside.
The bathroom was straight out of Giedi Prime. My camera was begging for light.
FIRST STATION STRAIGHT OUT OF A WEDDING
There was even a prime rib carving guy. Thankfully, Takoyaki was there little to get us back on track.
Takoyaki
Dim Sum
KFC sauce
Famous Black Cod Lettuce Wraps
Nobu greek salad which is exactly the same as a standard greek salad
Scrambled eggs for some reason
Tater tots?
THE SECOND STATION IS THE SUSHI AND INSIDE
In fairness, the inside is actually beautiful
If you’re not heading straight for this stuff, you’re doing the brunch wrong. The sushi is made quickly, but it gets picked over even quicker. I’d focus on four things: the salmon nigiri, the yellowtail jalapeno, the anakyu roll (anago and cucumber), and the spicy tuna roll.
“But Mr. Sushi Legend, don’t you hate spicy tuna rolls and think they’re an affront to Hanaya Yohei himself?”
Yes Jimmy, I do. But if we’re going to have spicy rolls, they should be made Toronto-style (editor note: this may not actually be a thing). Instead of the chopped and pre-mixed filling, give me a typical tekkamaki with a little sauce or topping on top. This is how Toronto pioneer Edo used to make them.
Nigiri selection
Maki selection
STATION 3 IS CRISPY RICE AND ICE CREAM
I’m not actually sure these two things are in one station, but they were next door so I’m saying it is.
Crispy Rice is a Nobu staple, so if you’re into that stuff, go wild. The ice cream was soft serve and had buckwheat toppings, which I’m told was enjoyable.
Crispy Rice
Bowl of crispy rice topping
Ice Cream station
FOURTH STATION IS DESSERT AND CEVICHE
Ceviche
And that’s it. For $110, the quality and quantity doesn’t touch some of the best all-you-can-eat spots in Toronto, which I consider AYCE’s capital. So if you’re expecting $110 worth of quality for your $110, look elsewhere. But if you’re looking for a fun afternoon out with friends – and the service is excellent by the way – you can do far worse than Nobu’s brunch.
Ultimately, this is the universe’s number one sushi blog, and I don’t want angry emails from any of you sushi legends.
Not recommended.
